Mi novia rusa (ii)20 septiembre, 2010
Tal y como dije en mi último post, me he echado una novia rusa. De acuerdo, no nos conocemos en persona, pero la relación va viento en popa. A veces me da la impresión de estar hablando con un robot, pero ¿qué sé yo acerca de las mujeres? No está la cosa para elegir. Oye, y si es un robot que la chupa bien, ¿qué hay de malo? ¿Qué soy yo? ¿Un remilgado?
Todos aquellos que pensáis que esto no es más que spam, o un engañabobos para sacarme dinero, seguro que estáis muertos de envidia. Lo entiendo. Pero que os den.
A continuación, la siguiente tanda de e-mails. Como en el anterior post, los copio y pego tal cual, en inglés.
Hello my friend Lucio!
Thanks for the new letter! I am very glad to continue our correspondence!
I waited your letter very much! It seems to me that the friendship between us grows with each letter!
At me excellent mood! This usual phenomenon, because I very vigorous and positive person. I with pleasure continue our acquaintance and I shall try to tell to you about myself a little more.
All my life has passed in Klin. I have no brothers and sisters. I am one child in my family. My parents live in village. I love my parents very much! These are most close and dear people for me!
I some years live separately from parents in my apartment.
I have a habit to wake up early in the morning. I do not like to sleep for a long time. In the morning I accept a bath and have breakfast.
I do not have special favorites in food. I can eat almost all, but not much.)
I try to have good body and consider calories.
I work about 9 morning till 6 evenings six days in a week. On Saturday I work up to 14 : 00 and on Sunday full day of rest. I love a free and active life. I live many years independently and have got used to do all that brings pleasure to me. As I already spoke, I love dances and sports very much! In Russia it is very popular. Except for Yoga I skate on ice and a ski in the winter and a mountain bicycle in the summer. As well as the majority of people I love music and cinema. My favorite singer Enrico Iglesias.
From cinema I like fantasy and animation more! You saw Avatar? I went with girlfriends on this surprising film in 3D!!! It is incredible!!!!
I like to look movie at the big cinemas with a good powerful sound convenient armchairs and the huge screen!
My favourite actors it Nicolas Cage and John Travolta!)
What about you? It is very interesting to me!
I am glad that my photos liked you! All of them are made my friends from the amateur camera. I very much want to see your new photos too!
I have a lot of good familiar and best girlfriends! We are friends from the ending of institute many years!
I am single some years. Probably it is surprising for you why the beautiful girl one. At me was bad experience before. The ambassador this a sad history I have changed and became very circumspect. Not looking on my age I am not was married also any children. I think that for each woman in relations very important to be always confident her man! Always to feel attention and care. I search good man, which will give me it.
What the main thing for you in relations between the man and the woman?
I would like to learn your opinion.)
I shall wait your new letter very much! Now I should finish.
Yours friend Julia
Sí. Le gusta Enrico Iglesias. Ni se ha molestado en buscar bien su nombre… En fin, le contesté lo siguiente.
I am so happy that you answered! For such a strong relationship like ours, it is a very long time if I don’t know anything about you for 3 days. I was afraid that you had get bored of me. That’s my story with women…
However, I was quite busy the last two days. I had some problems with law, nothing important. As my country is governed by socialists, it looks like some new laws are being approved without letting the citizens know. As far as I learnt yesterday, now it is ilegal to throw stones to gay people. Aaaah, the times are changing!
Klin looks like a nice place. I saw the film Borat few days ago, and I guess that his town must be very similar to Klin. I hope some day I will visit it. I have never been in Russia, although I have met a lot of russian girls. In Spain there is a growing bussiness managed, most of times, by russian girls. They make massages and stuff. Very nice stuff, indeed. Some days ago I met a russian girl, Svetlana, and she told me that when she was even younger, she was in a town next to Klin. She worked there as a Mujer de Compañía, which means Au Pair.
I think we have a lot of things in common. I also like to have breakfast in the morning! I could talk about it for hours…
I saw Avatar in 4-D. In Spain, there is a strong tradition of 3-D movies, and we have developed the 4-D, wich means that you get even more involved in the film. For example, in Avatar, every person in the cinema had to paint his body in blue. We are looked like real Navi’i people! I even learnt some expressions in Navi’i:
“Ere’sh un’a per’rah!”, wich means “Good afternoon”
“Cu’an Do vash’ a ped’i’rme dine’ro, fars Ante?”, which means “Would you like more tea?”
“Te vi’ a pon’er a cua’troh patas” which means “I like your haircut”.
I am quite worried about you insisting that you liked my photos. I didn’t send you any. Seriously, if you want some pictures of me, just ask!
Realmente, me inquieta mucho el tema de las fotos. ¿Cómo pueden gustarle, si nunca le he mandado ninguna? Al día siguiente recibí un mail suyo, pero apenas había respuestas a mis dudas sobre ella.
My dear friend Lucio!
Again your new letter makes my day!
I always wait your new mail! I am very glad, that have found such good friend as you Lucio!
With each new letter we learn better each other.
It is very pleasant for me to write letters for you! I receive a lot of positive energy from your letter!
It seems to me that we can speak with you on any theme and we can understand each other.
As I have already told to you in the last letter, that I live one some years in my apartment.
But I am usual do not spend a lot of time there, because right after works I go to friends or a training hall, or on walk.
It is not interesting to me to sit houses one and to watch TV, therefore I try to think up something interesting for the evening.
I already long time live independently and all that occurs in my life it is my own result.
I love my life though in it there is nothing especial.
When I wake up early in the morning at me always good mood, because I am glad new day and to all new,
that can take place with me! Certainly not always good weather and there are troubles,
but I know, that it only temporarily and it is not necessary to despond.
The only thing that would not suffice me now it is the person, which always was near to me.
I speak about the man, which would be ready to cast in the lot with my destiny and to pass this life together!
I had relations before, but I did not find that searched.
Unfortunately now men seldom appreciate serious and long relations.
It is very difficult to find the man, which has the same vital sights and priorities.
Even more often men search only for relations for short time.
I never respected these games and tried to not communicate with such people.
My parents have learned me to respect themselves! I always dreamed of the real feelings and serious relations.
When I more youngly, to me was seemed,that to me still early to think of it. Now I am adult woman,
but I do not see in Russian men of those qualities and priorities, which there should be at worthy men.
Time goes also all around changes. Serious relations and a marriage any more does not involve men.
People use each other in the personal purposes. It sounds severely, but it is valid so.
In Russia of the proprices of cancellation of marriages grows every year.
From it suffer not only adult people, but also small children, which remain without family and parents.
Therefore I did not hasten to leave in marriage and to create family.
For me in relations the most important full trust, honesty, fidelity,
attention the friend to the friend, understanding, support and care, respect and certainly love.
Life in Russia not so well. I for a long time think to begin a new life in other country.
Therefore I have decided to find the friend abroad.
First of all I search for friendship in fact without friendship there can not be relations. I am open for all new!
Our correspondence became very important for me!
I am very glad, that we have found each other and now we have an opportunity to learn each other better.
I do not hurry and hope anywhere that you too. I only wanted to tell to you that I think.
Certainly it is interesting to me that you think of it.
Have good day! I always wait your letters!
Your friend Julia
Esta vez, me ha mandado dos fotos.
Alguien debería explicarle a esta muchacha cómo se sientan las personas en el Primer Mundo.
Por último, hace unos minutos, le he mandado la siguiente respuesta. A ver si con esto me manda algún mail un poco más personalizado, porque a veces la noto como ausente…
I have been waiting for this letter all day long. It’s the first time I have been in contact with a girl for so long and the law doesn’t intercede!
I am glad that you receive a lot of positive energy. Some people think that I have powers. You know, I can heal people just by putting my hands in their head. Maybe you have heard about a strange disease, “Comerabitis”, a tropical disease related to eating meat. My neighbour just got Comerabitis and asked me for help. Now she is healthy and eats meat every day. I know that may sound weird to you, that’s why I hadn’t told you in my first e-mail. I didn’t want to scare you.
I understand you when you talk about that special person that will spend the rest of his life with you. I also want one. A woman, if I can choose, would be ok. Maybe you have your loved person in front of you and you haven’t realised yet. There is a popular proverb in my country that says: “Sé que eres un pavo, a mí no me engañas”, which means “Every man needs his half orange”. And when I say orange, I mean ‘vagina’. I know it may sound a little bit rude, but that’s the way spanish people express themselves…
By the way, I forgot to tell you I am writing a short essay about how stranger people see the spanish people. I would love that you wrote me a few lines about how do you think the spanish people is. It is very important to me, as you haven’t told me anything about my country. Also, you said that life in Russia is not well, so, who knows, maybe you could find your place in Spain ;)
Please, answer me. It is very important to me your opinion in order to finish my essay.
I hope you write back soon,
‘Hasta la vista, fulana’ (See you later, honey).